goodbye
by winterpearls
Summary: sometimes saying good bye is the right thing to do
1. Chapter 1

It's been a while more than a month I should say, even after I got out of jail and was proven innocent the girls still didn't really trust me but they did say sorry for what they put me through.

Personally I'm glad I was away because I had time to think about all the unforgiving things I done and I realized that girl wasn't me I build up so many walls and put so many people down, when in fact I just wanted to be saved and even Emily's love for me couldn't save me.

I'm a changed person now, I try hard to understand others try to be more kind and appreciate a lot of opportunities in life but honestly besides me changing I still feel like a caged animal, in the end I try to fight the feelings of uselessness and depression but they don't really go away unless I'm sleep.

Sitting outside of my house I kept pulling at my sleeves on my jacket waiting for Emily to show up shifting on the couch, I looked down at myself making sure I looked somewhat decent I felt my heart literally jump when I looked up. Emily looked good but also tired I gave her a small smile when she sat down next to me to my surprise she didn't smile back I quickly wiped my smile off my face and looked away down at my hands before looking back at her.

"I didn't think you'd come."

Emily let go of the breath she was holding in and looked over at the pale blonde, sifting in her seat Emily looked down at her watch before looking back up at Alison.

"How are you?"

"Alison I'm not really here for questions, I'm here to say I can't have us act like something is going to happen because it's not."

Alison looked horrified when Emily spoke it wasn't sweet at it wasn't the Emily she left before, Alison played at the hem of her skirt and cleared her throat before speaking up.

"Em since I been in jail I realized that I was horrible to you maybe I didn't show you much when I was home but I changed and I want to say sorry for everything I ever done to you. I wish we could go back to the time we had our first kiss in the library, if I could have that moment again I would and I'd suck up my stupid Teenage Dream of being popular and I'll trade that to be with you. That night when you were sleeping over I wasn't playing with you I meant everything that happened and I won't regret it. "

Alison finally felt free she finally had weight lifted off her, confessing how is actually felt to Emily is something she could never imagine doing and now that she did she felt great like she had nothing to lose.

Emily didn't know what to say honestly she felt confused she didn't know if she could actually trust Alison right now, everything sounded real but knowing Alison it probably wasn't and Emily wasn't ready be played like a toy.

"I'm sorry Alison I can't be with you even if A is gone even if you just confessed, I'm in a -"

Emily's phone started ringing sighing Emily went to pick it up from off the table but Alison who was still smiley and confident beat her to it, Alison quickly glanced at the screen reading the name "Talia " handing Emily her phone her face dropped all her confidence went out the door.

Emily sighed as she looked at Alison's face she grabbed her phone out of the girls hand before standing up to leave.

"Alison I have to go."

"I see you moved on, why..?"

Alison's voice cracked as tears threatening to fall build in her eyes, her heart felt ripped and hurt she was hurt she couldn't understand.

"I'm in a relationship now okay, and I like her so there's no why really Alison you have to move on as well it's better this way I'm sorry. "

Alison wiped her tears as they fell freely, her body felt useless again her life did too the only girl who made her feel worth something is gone, when Emily left she stood up grabbing the glass pitcher that was filled with juice and threw it across the front lawn.

Watching it shatter as juice was flying out of it, sitting back down in her seat she coverd her face with her hands crying into them.

No one knows what she's been through while hiding no one knows what's been going on in her life while growing up no one knows what happens now or what happened in jail, no one seems to care she's alone again getting eaten up alive the only good thing she gets out of this is the fact A is gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Alison laying in her tub water filled up to the rim her hand held the fogged glass cup of wine she hasn't seen Emily since last week she knew the girls probably told her not to comeback. She didn't mind because how she its obvious Emily is finally done with her could.

The sound of talking down stairs made Alison open her eyes as she sat up placing her cup on the floor she stood up to let the tub drain out as she pulled the plug, she quickly put the shower on to wash up before getting out to go to her room holding her towel around her small body tightly.

"Ali hurry you have company down stairs."

Alison pov

I didn't say anything back as I closed my door walking over to my dresser grabbing my hair brush but got interrupted by knocking. I panicked and quickly grabbed a long T-shirt and leggings putting them on before opening the door, I couldn't focus on my breathing at all, I hate when this happens it's like jail is still hunting me.

Walking down stairs I walked into the living room to see my dad with some women she looked old probably in her 20s. I had to admit she looked really friendly and was beyond pretty, she looked up at me then my dad before speaking in a hushed tone her accent was too strong to understand even my dad was slightly confused but he just nodded his head to anything because he's a bitch.

"Alison I'm Ms. Jung, I'm going to be your home doctor."

Alison swore in any minute she was going to throw up looking down at her hands she picked at the sore skin on her coticules her head hung slightly as she tried not to look up at the woman. She couldn't believe her dad would think therapy would help make it better nothing would help not even a million bucks not even the girls or Emily.

Ms. Jung asked her questions she answered some but through the whole hour she was mostly quiet again.

Emily threw her bag on her bed as she sighed trying to calm down she couldn't believe she was just some experiment to Talia , being a lesbian isn't a trend what was wrong with that women was she dumb or what. Changing out of her work clothes Emily plopped down on her bed resting on her stomach her brain felt like it was going to explode she wish she went off to a different state or country when she had the chance. Closing her eyes she tried to think about something else but her mind went straight to the idea of Alison being alone, it's been a few weeks since she last saw her and honestly Emily felt so regretful she promised herself she would look out for Alison when the blonde got out but she didn't.

Opening her eyes tears fell from her eyes as guilt ate at her sitting up she picked her phone up looking through her contacts list her heart stopped when she saw Alison's name, after all this time she never had the guts to delete it sliding the name Ali to the t side it went to text, making it even harder to ignore the blonde she forgot she never deleted their messages to each other.

She wasn't ready to text Alison but she did read through their old messages and it pained her more than anything if only she could start over if only Alison wasn't so cruel back then things would be so different there would never had been any A or Mona dying everything would have been normal. But that's not how life ever works everything happens for a reason and no one has a normal life.

.


End file.
